Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: raregent

Reconciliation :
10 Years - look how the time has flown.

default

 iamanidiot (original poster member #47257) posted at 9:40 AM on Tuesday, August 19th, 2025

Hi Everybody. I'm a Grandpa here laugh .

Wow, look how the years have flown.
40 Years ago the last of the A's was in full swing but would fizzle out by December that year....
50 Year school reunion coming up at the end of this year ... Wow.
10 Years have passed since I found out barf
and since I joined SI a few months later smile

It was slow progress at first, trying to figure things out.
Those first two years post DDay were so agonizing.
Every day was an excruciating climb up the ladder. Finding out the details, step by step.

My questions needed to be answered.
Even not getting an answer, was an answer all by itself mad .
But it had to be done.

A lot of emotions happened and a lot of talking was done. Lots of venting.

Thankfully I have NOT wasted every day of the last 10 years worrying about the A's.
There is nothing I can learn by thinking back about those days. It is PAST.

It still bothers my wife.
Out of nowhere she will ask things like 'do you still hurt?', or say things like 'I don't know what I thought I was doing' etc....
Or 'I don't know what mind tricks you used to jump through those hoops?' ie to get yourself to accept what I did?
(She felt that if I ever found out, then that would be the end of us.)

I have mastered my triggers. I have learnt to enjoy life. I have moved on.
I am exceptionally proud that nobody else (SI & the APs excluded) is aware of our struggles.
We kept it to ourselves, worked it out together and I feel we are all the better for doing that.

When not at our individual place of work, we spend a lot of time together, doing things, planning things (she plans, I do..)
She also does my bookkeeping after hours, so even more time in each other's space.

We are both planning to retire at the end of the year, and maybe get out and go see the world a little bit.

Definitely we will spend quality time with the Grandchild.
He is already 9 months old, growing so fast.

And is just starting to crawl.

Me BS,57 Her WS,552 LTA & 2 ONS 30+years agoD-day 27/12/14At least I still have my sense of humor.I need it.Coming to grips with it all3 Adult childrenStill married

posts: 483   ·   registered: Mar. 20th, 2015   ·   location: South Africa
id 8875247
default

sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 5:24 PM on Tuesday, August 19th, 2025

Thanks for the update. I'm glad it's so positive.

I'm a big fan of retirement and grandkids. Our GS is almost 16, and he lives far from us. Sometimes on my bike rides I stop at playgrounds to watch the little kids play - I really wish we had more time with our GS as he developed, so I hope you get a lot of time with your GS.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 31249   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8875266
default

Bruce123 ( member #85782) posted at 5:39 PM on Tuesday, August 19th, 2025

Congratulations on your Grandson, just started to crawl too, he’ll keep you on your toes.

Thank you for posting your update, it’s so nice to read something positive.

Wishing you all the best for your retirement.

Me F BS (45) Him WS (44) DD 31/12/2024
Just Keep Swimming

posts: 153   ·   registered: Feb. 4th, 2025   ·   location: UK
id 8875267
default

Oldwounds ( member #54486) posted at 5:43 PM on Tuesday, August 19th, 2025

Awesome update IAM!

Thanks for stopping in to let us know.

Thanks for your help in my early days here (over nine years ago now)!

Enjoy life, your grandson and your retirement!!

Married 36+ years, together 41+ years
Two awesome adult sons.
Dday 6/16 4-year LTA Survived.
M Restored
"It is better to conquer our grief than to deceive it." — Seneca

posts: 4925   ·   registered: Aug. 4th, 2016   ·   location: Home.
id 8875268
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20250812a 2002-2025 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy