WH has started getting violent because I'm upset

I found out 3 months ago that my husband cheated on me.

He sometimes gets angry at himself and has broken things. He put this down to being extremely distressed at what he's done. He has only ever been gentle and kind. Can an affair coming out make a person change?

16 comments posted: Friday, April 11th, 2025

Husband cheated after 23 years together

My husband was unfaithful at Christmas. I am 40 and he is 42 and we've been together 23 years.

He had an emotional affair for 10 months with the woman who is 16 years younger (a PhD student at his work). Then, at the Christmas night out, he went home with her.

He wants to save our marriage and is very remorseful. He also cut off contact with the woman. I just feel so unbelievably hurt and it has severely affected me.

The woman has borderline personality disorder and has a strong need for attention. She confessed that she liked the attention he gave her more than she liked my husband but she still invited him to her house that night, knowing he would destroy his family. When my husband told her I knew of the affair, she said she is used to dealing with angry wives. I am beyond disgusted at my husband, but also at this woman who has played her part in destroying our family, and for nothing.

I don't know what to do. Please can I have some opinions.

6 comments posted: Wednesday, April 9th, 2025