NoThanksForTheMemories (original poster member #83278) posted at 9:31 PM on Tuesday, June 24th, 2025
For those of you who went through mediation for your separation or divorce, what are some qualities to look for when choosing? A quick search online shows me that some mediation services are provided by lawyers, but others are by people with accreditation and no legal background. What are the pros and cons of each? And should we retain lawyers even if we're doing mediation?
WS had a 3 yr EA+PA from 2020-2022, and an EA 10 years ago (different AP). Dday1 Nov '22. Dday4 Sep '23. False R for 2.5 months. 30 years together. Living separately as of Mar '25.
InkHulk ( member #80400) posted at 3:31 AM on Wednesday, June 25th, 2025
I recommend resolving as much as possible without anyone else involved. Figure out all the simple things between the two of you, and write them down to be attached to a legal document. Saves enormous sums of money and time. Any time you hit a contentious issue, put it in a parking lot and move on to something you can resolve.
Once you have a small list of things you can’t resolve between yourself, bring that to mediation. Do all you can to control the scope because mediation will be slow and expensive, even if you bring trivial matters to it.
Come as informed as you can. Look for ways to identify what you want versus what he wants. Be prepared to compromise if you are in direct competition for the same thing with him. The legal system doesn’t care about his philandering.
People are more important than the relationships they are in.
